


Let our bodies do the talking; let our shadows paint the wall

by ana_kl



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Matt likes pretty things, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:09:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25395931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ana_kl/pseuds/ana_kl
Summary: Leon knows he's going to propose to Matt some day. He just has to figure out how and when.
Relationships: Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk
Comments: 11
Kudos: 129





	Let our bodies do the talking; let our shadows paint the wall

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone,
> 
> Here's an idea for a virtual dinner party -- get in touch with some friends, pick a recipe as a group and get on a videocall to prepare it together :)  
> Maybe it's not the same as going out, but there will be time for meeting up in person eventually.  
> Hang in there and stay safe,
> 
> x Ana

By his parents' generation's standard, Leon's around the right age to get married. Using his grandparents' as a reference, then at nearly 27, he's maybe even getting a little old to be unmarried. He is seeing someone though, although it's never been about making a point to anyone. If he cared about what other people thought, then he probably wouldn't be dating Matthew Tkachuk. But nevermind the Battle of Alberta, or the media, or those who can't imagine that yes, they have lives separate from hockey, because he really, really loves Matt. And he knows that Matt really, really loves him. 

And he's been thinking really, really hard about proposing to Matt. 

It's not as though he has any doubt about how they feel about each other. From the very beginning, Matt understands him better than anyone else ever has. Sure, hockey is a huge part of their lives and who better would understand than another pro hockey player who also comes from a hockey family. But Matt knows Leon off the ice better than anyone else. He knows which coffee Leon likes best, knows all his insecurities and he spent at least a week researching and perfecting Leon's favorite recipes from back home. He knows how much Leon hates talking to the press after games or worse, in between periods, knows that Leon prefers beer to wine (but not North American beers) and that he secretly/not so secretly likes using the obnoxiously purple and _glittery_ plum-mandarin scented shower gel with which Matt's obsessed.  
("Oh you're such a hypocrite!" Matt laughs when Leon joins him in bed after showering one night, the sparkles visible on his skin and the fruity fragrance clinging just as obviously. 

Leon has ridiculed the shower gel a number of times, because who puts glitter in something that's supposed to clean?, so he supposes that Matt making fun of him for liking it after all for the rest of the night is warranted.)

He also really likes the vanilla-lavender lotion that Matt uses every night, but Matt hasn't figured out that he likes it because it reminds him of Matt.

Against all odds -- that Matt plays for the Flames and Leon for the Oilers, that Matt's from the United States and Leon's from Germany and that if it wasn't for the NHL, they'd have a whole ocean between them, that they're both men in a sport that still has a long way to go when it comes to common sense on some things -- Matthew Tkachuk is Leon Draisaitl's _person_ and it's so much that Leon doesn't know what to do with it sometimes. He's been in serious relationships before Matt, but until now, he didn't realize how much he could possibly feel for someone and he knows that there's not going to be anyone else for him other than Matt. At the very beginning of their relationship, he was self-conscious, still wondering how someone like Matt could want someone like him. But as time goes on and he notices how Matt lights up and blushes whenever he looks at him, how Matt opens up to him about everything, how Matt will just relax against Leon when he's beside him, completely letting his guard down, he realizes that he can be confident in that he's also the one for Matt. 

In a lot of ways, it's like they're already married. During the season, Matt stays at Leon's when the Flames play the Oilers in Edmonton and Leon spends the night at Matt's when they're in Calgary. And if they're both apart, they'll text pretty much every day and it's often that Matt will Facetime Leon at night, when most of the other guys their age are still out on the town, asking Leon to just keep talking about anything until he falls asleep. Leon always obliges and in the dim light on both their ends, he just smiles and watches Matt sleep for awhile. Half of Leon's closet is full of Matt's clothes; Leon has just as many of his things over at Matt's. They've both had close calls wearing each other's clothes in public, but on the nights they're apart, Matt will send Leon a picture in which he's lying in bed in his own hotel room, wearing one of Leon's Oilers hoodies. He's blushing when he tells Leon that he'll spray a little of Leon's cologne on his clothes before he packs them with him for road trips. The off-season is the best, when they can unapologetically indulge in each other. For the first couple weeks, they'll stay at either Matt's or Leon's place; anything they can't do in bed is usually off limits. Then, when they've had time to rest and to make up for all the nights when they've really wanted each other but can't, they'll visit Matt's family in Canada before staying with his parents in St. Louis for a few weeks. Afterwards, it's a flight to Cologne to spend some time with Leon's family and they explore different parts of Europe every time they go. Leon thinks it's so cute how amazed Matt still is that they can actually drive to a number of other countries from Germany within a day and how he's good with drinks on the few times they've joined the other guys at the bar, but he's pretty quick to get a little tipsy and giggly when they decide to schedule a few tours at different vineyards in one day. 

(Leon's really glad the vineyards they chose when they travelled to France were within walking distance from their hotel. As he's half carrying Matt down the street after wine tour #5 while Matt is pointing out how _hilarious_ the French word for cheese is and how he's just noticed that the English equivalent is even more so, Leon is especially glad that they didn't join the discover-by-bike tour.)

So it's not like they _need_ marriage. It's obvious to both of them and anyone around them that they're in love. And they don't necessarily want the whole world to know while they're still playing in the NHL, either. They're not ashamed, but they've both agreed that it's less complicated this way, especially given that they're both high-profile players. If anything, it saves them invasive interview questions about their life together. But it occurs to Leon late one night, when Matt's already asleep in his arms and has a hand resting lightly over his pecs, that Matt has really pretty fingers and they'd look even prettier with something on his ring finger. 

He knows that there's something to be said about proposing after sex, but it's not like he's actually proposing to Matt right then and there; he's just making an observation. As he spends more time still thinking about buying a house together, having an outdoor wedding, kissing Matt in front of a bunch of people who've already seen them kiss numerous times before, going on a honeymoon, adopting a bunch of kids...., he concludes that he's maybe a little sleep-deprived and possibly too fixated still on how much he loves Matt's body. But when he keeps thinking about putting a ring on Matt's finger at breakfast the next morning, he realizes that he's serious about it. 

"What're you thinking about?" Matt smiles, kissing Leon's forehead as he invites himself to sit on Leon's lap, offering him a strawberry as he settles down. 

Leon arranges his arms around Matt as he takes the strawberry Matt's holding out, letting his teeth graze over Matt's fingers ever so slightly. They both have glittery skin from the shower they took together before breakfast. 

He stays silent for a moment, not sure exactly how to start this conversation, but Matt's looking at him so openly that he just asks. 

"Do you want to get married?" 

Now Matt is quiet and he's looking at Leon, visibly taken aback. He definitely doesn't look upset though and his arms are still resting on Leon's shoulders, so that's a good sign. 

"Leon... are you... proposing?" He asks, and _shit_ he sounds hopeful and nervous and s _hit_ Leon doesn't have a ring or anything planned and _fucking shit_ if Matt thinks he's proposing now, with no ring, not even sounding decisive about it, both of them half dressed after a late night and late morning in bed, no speech about how much Matt means to him, no fancy dinner like Matt deserves, then he's kind of the worst boyfriend ever...

"No!" Leon says quickly, then swears as Matt's face falls. "I mean... not yet," he says and his stomach flips because maybe Matt really does want this, too. "...I want to, just... is it too early?" He asks and nothing about this feels romantic. 

But Matt gives him one of those beautiful, intimate smiles that Leon loves so much and that only he ever gets to see. 

"Hmm," Matt kisses Leon softly before turning his attention back to breakfast as he keeps thinking. "I mean, Mom and Dad thought we were already engaged," he reflects, and normally, Leon would make fun of Matt for eating bacon with his fingers, then Matt would tease him about his snobby European table manners, but Matt's then feeding Leon the bacon strip, so he holds his tongue. "Mom asked me when we were going to send out wedding invitations last time we talked," Matt says, blushing a little. 

Leon goes a little red as well, because he had a similar conversation with his own parents not long ago. His hoodie's drawstring brushed over his hand in the wrong place at the wrong time and with the lagging video quality that comes from making an overseas videocall, Leon's dad has a bit of a meltdown because he leaps to the conclusion that they already got married and didn't invite them. He knows they're obvious when they can just relax out of sight of the fans and the cameras, but he hadn't thought they were that overt. 

"...I don't think it's too early, like if you do want to get married soon," Matt then says and he looks so simultaneously shy and happy and Leon wants to kiss him and forget all about breakfast. "It's ok if you want to wait, too," he adds, although Leon can tell that the idea of getting married sooner rather than later is something he likes. 

And really, why wait? The line between making it official and what they are now is very fine. Getting engaged doesn't mean they have to get married right away and Leon's pretty sure neither of them would break the engagement off. The time they spend engaged would really be more to work around their hockey schedule to figure out all the logistics of the wedding. 

"Yeah?" Leon smiles, pulling Matt a little closer. "I think I would want to soon," he kisses Matt and Matt smiles into their kiss. 

It's a cool June morning and for what feels like the first time in a while, neither of them have anywhere they need to be. The most activity they do is moving to the sofa where Matt gets out his laptop and they spend the afternoon looking at what wedding planning they could do now. It turns out to be a bit farcical, if anything: they're so hardwired to prioritize training that they actually consider whether they should get a cake that's somehow on program before deciding fuck it, they're getting _married_ and they're going with whichever five-tiered, frosting-covered extravaganza they want. Then they (Matt) get distracted by grocery store cake fails. As Matt's snort-laughing his way through Reddit cake wreck compilations, Leon wonders why it is that he wants to marry this idiot so badly, then he has to kiss Matt really hard because Matt's his idiot and he loves him so much. 

They quickly establish that neither of them are organized or forward-thinking enough to actually have a theme for their wedding and they're not sure that they care if their guests dress up or not. They don't even need a venue or any of the traditional things -- if this is about how much they love each other, why does there need to be so much focus on the showy stuff that gets put up and taken down on the same day? -- but it's fun to think extravagantly. In reality, Leon knows that their wedding will probably be really simple, with just their closest friends and family, who will probably make a bigger deal out of it than they will. It won't be religious and it won't be in a church, there'll be loads of flowers because Matt likes them, absolutely no organ music, no media, a reception that's more about everyone there than just them, and the ceremony should be as short as possible. Leon's been to other people's weddings before and with all due respect, post-game interviews are sometimes more bearable. They'll probably end up with a Reddit-worthy cake because Matty says they should get something based on the "Congration you done it" disaster that he's been laughing at for over five minutes. 

Leon is indeed marrying an idiot. 

The one thing he really does want to get right is the ring. He knows that most of time, they won't be able to wear their rings -- jewelry of any kind is a hazard in hockey and they'd have to take them off for press conferences, too. But when they do get a chance to wear them, Leon wants this symbol of their love for and committment to each other to remind Matt of just how much he loves him. He knows that Matt likes pretty things, likes _feeling_ pretty sometimes, but it's another thing that Matt has to keep hidden, at least as long as they're playing hockey. Leon wants Matt to have a tangible reminder that he's always going to love him no matter what. He just has to figure out whether Matt likes diamonds or pearls better...

He's staring at Matt's hands and he must've zoned out, imagining how beautiful Matt will look with a ring that tells everyone who's looking that he and Leon belong with each other, because Matt's suddenly tapping his thigh, gesturing to his laptop screen and looking at Leon expectantly, and _woah how did he miss that?_

"I'd probably wear a suit for the actual wedding," Matt says just a little shyly but nonetheless with the quiet confidence that comes with years of knowing that Leon unconditionally accepts him. "But when it's just us after, I can maybe put on something else...?" 

Leon's speechless as he openly stares at the aptly titled "wedding night" page that Matt's browsing. Over the years, he's had the privilege of Matt sharing with him the things he likes. He gets that Matt doesn't feel at odds with his body, doesn't not want to be a man; it's just that Matt's sense of self and the things that he likes are larger than the scope of what society traditionally defines as "masculine." Leon learns that in a way, this makes it harder for Matt to share this part of himself with him: it seems "weirder" to fully identify as a man, to feel perfectly comfortable in men's fashion and yet want to wear dresses sometimes, too. He doesn't consider this "drag" or "crossdressing"; it's not coming from a character he's built or even an extension of himself. He's just Matthew Tkachuk, who happens to like hockey and also likes "girly" things. When he awkwardly tries to explain this to Leon, sounding like he's about to cry, Leon just kisses him and tells him that there's nothing weird about women wearing pants, so why should he feel embarrassed about this? From there, Matt gradually lets Leon in, he lets Leon paint his nails and rub rose-jasmine lotion into the smooth skin of his freshly shaved legs. Once he feels confident and realizes that he really can trust Leon with this, he wears a dress for the first time, a simple one that comes just above his knees. He looks so vulnerable and Leon is overwhelmed both by how beautiful he looks in just a light blue cocktail dress, barefoot and with no makeup and by how much trust Matt is placing with him. So he advances, gets his hands all over Matt and his dress, and kisses him as Matt relaxes in his arms.

Leon's had girlfriends before Matt and he learns how different Matt's body looks and feels from theirs in these clothes. Matt worries that Leon won't like how broad his shoulders look in a dress, how flat his chest is and how his body is rigid, muscular contours instead of soft curves. He's scared because one of the first suggestions that came up when he first googled "men in dresses" was "men in dresses funny" and both he and Leon know how feminization is used as an insult in the locker room. But for Leon, there's nothing funny about how beautiful Matt looks, how weak in the knees he feels the first time he sees Matt in a sleeveless dress, broad shoulders, defined biceps and all. There's nothing funny about how much he loves the way the delicate materials that Matt likes caress the curves of his body that are different, yes, but still beckon Leon to trail his hands all along them. There's nothing funny about how much Matt obviously loves him and how much he loves Matt, all of Matt, and the next time Matt goes dress shopping online, Leon's right there, telling him how pretty he'd look in a black dress, how lilac would bring out his gorgeous eyes... 

They've never shopped for lingerie before though, and Matt's never worn it, although they have talked about this, too. Matt's told Leon that he might like to try it one day and Leon says that he'd really like seeing him in it if he's comfortable trying. Leon's kind of struggling to keep himself under control because _wow_. The clothes are shown on models, but Leon can only think about how amazing Matt would look in basically everything on the site and he must be obvious because Matt's giggling as he scrolls down the page. 

Clearly, they're having their wedding night before their wedding, because Leon's placed an express order for about a thousand dollars' worth of robes, silk slips and _other things_ and Matt's both laughing at how uninhibitedly enthusiastic he is about this and looking at him like he makes the world go round. He told Leon on their third anniversary that he never thought he'd find anyone who loves everything about him the way he does. 

In the end, they don't have much of a wedding planned. They don't know where they'll have it, they don't have a serious catering plan and they have no idea where their guests will be staying, because between Leon's friends in Germany and Matt's in St. Louis, there's not enough space even in Leon's house in Edmonton. Most glaringly, they still have to get engaged. 

But they know that it'll happen when it does, in the near future now that they've actually talked about it. Matt's gone back to scrolling through Reddit cakes and other fails as he lies across Leon's lap. Leon's combing his fingers through Matt's curls as he thinks about how to figure out what Matt would like for an engagement ring without being too obvious about it. Even though Matt now knows he's planning on proposing, he wants it to be a surprise when it happens. He has an idea to take Matt out for a nice dinner, or put together his very best in the kitchen and set everything up on his balcony. If they go out, he knows a beautiful park that's private most of the time and he'll propose there after dinner. If they're on the balcony, then he'll get down on one knee right there. Maybe it's a bit cliché, but he knows that Matt appreciates little romantic gestures and Matt deserves the very best. 


End file.
